Throughout my walk with the lord, I have continually been overwhelmed by how personal he is, how much he cares about me, and how faithful he is with my heart.
Every time I start to think it's about what I can do for him, he lovingly reminds me that I am first a daughter.
When I try to figure things out, or should I say when I "freak out" because I am out of control and I want to know what's going on, what He is doing, and what the plan is.... He is always so tender toward me. He will remind me to trust him, He will reassure me that He cares, and that I can trust him with my desires.
I remember at different times throughout our relationship, He would say things to me that would completely catch me off guard...
While I thought I needed to scrimp and save and pinch every penny to be able to go back to school, He would speak to my heart and say, "Kaylee I have an abundance for you, I am your provider, I am your father."
When I thought it was up to me to stay in my room and pray three hours a day so the world would be saved, He would invite me on a walk with him, or tell me he wanted to surprised me! (We went shopping lol).
During the times when I would give into insecurity and start to believe that He was disappointed with me, He would speak to me, "Kaylee I don't know what you're talking about. I love you. I'm not upset. I just want to hold you."
Even during my wedding while we were stressing out and trying to believe him for a miracle (trying haha) He spoke to my heart saying, "If it matters to you, it matters to me. I'm going to give you what you want! You are my daughter and I love to spoil you! What do you want?"
So many times He has asked me that question, "what do you want?" And every time it throughs me for a loop. How could the God of the universe be so concerned, so attentive, so aware of ME?
I still don't really get it. He's got so much going on right? And yet He has the ability to be intimate, close, near, and present with each one of his children... all while making us all feel like his favorite!!
I know I'll never really understand His love for me, but the more I get to know Him, the more I realize He loves to get to know me. Just like I care what is in His heart, He cares what is in mine! He is so personal! So near! So intentional with his love!
He is the best listener, the only true comforter, and super fun and playful! I swear He loves to surprise us more than we will ever know!
This verse, "Delight yourself in the lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." Has been one of my life verses. He constantly brings me back to it!
Just delight. He knows what you need. He knows what you want, what you desire! For me it was going to Africa, getting married, and now a baby! (And a ton more)... He is the one who puts those desires in your heart in the first place!!!
Go ahead, ask him! Ask him how much he cares!
Without a self image that is congruent with your goals you will always end up sabotaging your success. You cannot consistently live beyond your self image.
1. When you are madly in love with Jesus
2. Encounter God’s amazing kindness
3. Really taste how good He is
... you CANNOT HELP but repent for hidden sins, or things that you know in your heart have been tripping you up and pulling you away from Him.
It says that HIS KINDNESS leads us to repentance, not our guilt, or shame, or feeling condemned. That actually seems to make us want to run and hide, verses come out and tell Him.
I know it really is funny because we CANNOT TRULY HIDE FROM GOD. And yet, he calls to Adam and Eve in the garden, “Where are you?”
Did God not know where they were? Of course He did! And yet, He respects our will, our choice, and decision to come to Him.
He wants our “YES”, our “HERE I AM”. Our “I TRUST YOU!”
I know it is SO crazy... sometimes God seems too good to be true!
I think that religion looks at God saying to Adam and Eve in the garden, “Where are you?” like our parent might have yelled, “David James Scott! Get over here!” And we get the chill down our back, or the knot in our tummies because we know that we have done something wrong.
I do not believe God is like that with us at all!
I really do believe that He surpasses ANY love that we have EVER known. Even if you had the best parents in the whole world, God is 100 times better, loving, and kind!
He INVITES US, He calls us to repentance because it breaks His heart to have anything less than ALL of us.
He is the one who designed relationship in the first place!
He made family, created intimacy, and even thought of sex.
He is the end all when it comes to loving us, knowing our hearts, and caring when we are afraid, or hurt, or in pain. He calls himself THE COMFORTER. The holy spirit, the God who comforts us in all of our weaknesses, and pain.
He came to “heal the brokenhearted, set prisoners free, declare the year of the lord's favor.”
I was reading psalms 32 in the message translation and it stirred my heart to talk about repentance. Here is some of the chapter,
“How HAPPY and FULFILLED are those whose rebellion has been forgiven,
Those whose sins are COVERED by the blood.
How BLESSED and RELIEVED are those who have confessed their corruption to God.
For He wipes their slate CLEAN and removes hypocrisy from their hearts.
Before I confessed my sins, I kept it all inside,
My dishonesty devastated my inner life,
Causing my life frustration, irrepressible anguish, and misery.
The pain never let up, for Your hand of conviction
Was heavy on my heart and drained my strength
My inner life dried up,
As I suffered this spiritual drought within my soul.”
The words used to explain the freedom that comes with repentance are HAPPY, FULFILLED, BLESSED and RELIEVED.
The words used to explain what it was like before He confessed were DEVASTATED, FRUSTRATED, ANGUISH, and MISERY. A “spiritual drought within his soul.”
It’s no wonder why God would want us to repent, to confess our sins! Because, He cares about us! Because He is so for our good, and our freedom, our happiness, and being blessed that he HATES anything that would pull us away, cause us “a spiritual drought, or a heavy heart.”
When I am talking about repentance here, I am not talking about crying our eyes out, feeling guilty, like a worm, and beating ourselves up for “missing it again” and sucking at being good christians.
That alone is not repentance. True repentance brings us JOY! Yes, there may be a grief that we feel over the pain of whatever was going on, or hurting the lord, or hurting people close to us because of how our choices affected them. But repentance is not crying at the altar as much as it is- to change the way that we think.
My dad always told me, the definition of repentance is actually, “to come up to the penthouse, to get the higher perspective. God’s view, so you can see clearly.”
True repentance is a gift from God, it brings life, and joy, freedom and peace! It breeds connection with God and others. It thrives in us being vulnerable, in being brought into the light!
So today, I challenge you! I invite you! I urge you, to come up higher, to receive the gift of a higher perspective of freedom and grace that God has for you.
That he isn’t an angry parent yelling your full name as he grabs the paddle to spank you.
But he is actually the substance, the essence of Kindness, mercy, and grace.
Even if we feel afraid, and want to be dishonest and to hide, it’s okay! Do it afraid! Confess to someone, be vulnerable with what has been tripping you up! Your freedom, happiness and relief is right around the corner!
No more condemnation! We have righteousness in Christ and not from the law. Yes we have all fallen short of the glory. But now in Christ we have been redeemed and restored to the image of Christ!
My heart is that all of the body of Christ would encounter His glorious presence daily! He is with us all we must do is acknowledge Him!
On this journey of living well I come back to over and over again this tension of living care free yet not careless.
The call is clear all throughout scripture, BE FREE FROM WORRY AND ANXIETY!!
Yet the struggle is real.
I can't help but feel guilty if I embrace a lifestyle of living care free.
So my question is:
What’s the difference between being care free and being careless?
I know there has been a ton of irresponsibility masquerading as something holy and spiritual when it is is actually just immaturity.
We know how this goes, the person says they are living by faith and therefore don't want to work or get a job when all along they are just lazy and entitled.
Obviously there are times where God calls us into times of rest and He will tell us not to work so we can learn how to trust. I am not talking about that. I am talking about how we spiritualize our dysfunctions.
However, we shouldn’t throw away the baby with the bathwater here. God has not called us to live like the world, worried and stressed out of our minds.
Unfortunately we so easily swing to the opposite end of the spectrum. We see the error of immaturity and react out of fear. We no longer embrace a lifestyle of rest, child likeness, and freedom.
We think the highest aim of the christian life is to be a good, hard working, responsible christian. We think it immature to be playful. Joy is far from us and we justify it. "Well I have to get to work to provide for my family I don't have time to be frolicking around all care free and stuff. Or... "God only helps those who helps themselves."
Obviously working hard is very important but the mindset I am talking about here is one of dependency upon self.
When we simply depend upon ourself to make life happen there is little joy. There is little child likeness. This way of living robs us of the happiness of being a child of God.
I used to be like this after I had my awakening experience.
I gave up my party days, got serious, and started making responsible decisions.
I started a fitness business in my town and I worked hard. I also tried hard to please God. I prayed, fasted, and did my best to be a good disciple.
Unfortunately this lead to a lot of burnout where I just felt joyless. I lost my sense of fun. I lost my sense of play.
Then I remember one day God corrected me! He gave me this verse,
“...God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble. Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, 7 casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you."
He told me I was being prideful trying to figure out all my problems myself. For me it was in the area of provision. Would God really provide for me? How can I not worry about it? If I don't worry about money Ill never do anything about it, nothing will ever change!
He revealed to me that if I hold on to my anxieties and worries I am cutting myself off from the flow of His Grace. He showed me that true humility is trusting Him to be who He says He would be.
I repented for thinking that I can solve my problems better than God. In that moment a wave of peace flooded my soul as I was driving. I began to laugh. It was as if a heavy weight lifted off my shoulders. I was intoxicated with this amazing Grace!
I believe that day God gave me a gift. I call it the, “I don’t care anointing.”
Its quite funny because it sounds so offensive.
The truth however, is that this is the way God desires us to live. Another translation for the word, “cares” is “anxieties.”
This makes a lot more sense.
Of course we care about people, our lives, our families, our friends, our destinies, our bank account.
The error is when we start feeling anxious, worried, and fearful about these things.
So how do you live care free without being irresponsible?
Well most of the time, when people live care free there are honestly just ignorant of the problem. They avoid and pretend its not there. Or they just don’t think about it.
This is not biblical, nor beneficial to our lives!
Living truly care free in this world comes from trust.
The key to trusting Him is found right here:
“Because he cares for you.”
We don’t just say its all gonna work out out of some wishy washy positive thinking mumbo jumbo.
We say it is all going to work out from a deep place of conviction. A conviction of the goodness of God.
We declare all will be well because we truly believe that He so deeply cares about us!
I know the more I become aware of His goodness as a Father the more I am free to be me.
Without the heavy yoke of false responsibility I am able to dream and to hope! I confidently expect God to show off when I am aware of His deep love for me.
The more I see Him as a good Dad with so much abundance in His house the more I realize I am not an orphan. I begin to understand that I am His son. A co-heir with Christ that has access to all of heavens resources.
All this comes from the revelation of how loved I am!
So this is what I pray for you today. That you would take time to encounter His glorious love for you. That you would know intimately how much he cares. After all, He has given you the most precious substance in the universe, the blood of His son Jesus. And like the good word says:
"He who did not spare [even] His own Son, but gave Him up for us all, how will He not also, along with Him, graciously give us all things?" Romans 8:32
So just chill and receive the, “I don’t care anointing.” Hand over your fears and anxieties knowing He’s got your back! You’re His child, He won’t leave you hanging. That’s His promise, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”
So He is either a liar or you just might be believing some lies that make you think and feel like He isn’t there.
He is with you, He is for you!
Leave a comment for us below. We would love to hear from you. :)
Today my goal is to simply encourage you in the power you have in prayer! There are many different types of prayer but I just want to focus on helping you see that your prayers are POWERFUL!
I “randomly” flipped open to the book of James this morning where the apostle was speaking on the power of prayer.
Check it out:
16 Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.
17 Elijah was a human being, even as we are. He prayed earnestly that it would not rain, and it did not rain on the land for three and a half years.
18 Again he prayed, and the heavens gave rain, and the earth produced its crops.
I then flilpped back to the story of Elijah and was just astonished at the way God used this man. He was the only true prophet alive in his day. God did mighty miracles and wonders through him to turn Israel away from their idols and back to Himself.
I feel like there are so many believers right now that are struggling with things they wouldn’t have to struggle with if they knew the power they had in prayer.
The sad truth is we just don’t believe in the power of prayer. We may say it as a nice little cliché but our actions reveal more unbelief than anything.
But I look at our history in the bible and see POWER as a result of prayer. Not our cultural norms of, “sending you good thoughts” or “your in my prayers hun.”
I am sure we really mean well when we say these things but I would love to see us tap into the true power we have in Christ when it comes to prayer.
If we really believe then we would pray with some expectancy.
I look at how Elijah prayed and fire consumed the sacrifice on Mount Carmel. Then as another sign of God he prayed and the rains came after a long drought in the land. I see Jesus praying and then the loaves and fishes multiplying to feed thousands. I see the apostles praying and people getting baptized in the Holy Spirit, blind eyes being opened, and the lame walking.
To me, this is a picture of what prayer looks like. Not a nice little curtiousy we extend to others that offers nothing but temporary comfort.
The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.
This is a huge key to prayer. It doesn’t say the prayer of any man but a righteous man.
Often, I have read this and disqualified myself from believing that my prayers were powerful because I knew myself, and my behaviors weren't always righteous. I thought once I was holy enough then my prayers would be powerful.
Little did I know I still had a merit based mindset.
A way of thinking that is anti gospel. It says that we are what we do. Our actions determine our identity.
But the truth is right here:
2 Corinthians 5:21 says, “For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.”
This is the gospel right here.
We have become the righteousness of God because of WHAT HE HAS DONE, not what we have done.
This is great news!
We are righteous and it’s not our fault!
This is going to give people some freedom right here because so many have thought their prayers aren’t very powerful because they don’t have perfect behavior. They just see how much they fail and it renders their prayers powerless.
The truth is you are righteous and your prayers make all the difference.
Every time you pray for your family member things are shifting in the spirit. Every time you go and pray for the sick the Kingdom of God is being released. Every time we declare the will of God over our lives, angels are going forth on our behalf arranging divine appointments. Every time we pray and declare our prophetic words faith and hope fill our souls and pieces of the puzzle begin to fall into place!
So next time you pray for something, believe you are accessing heavens power. Believe that your prayers are making a difference.
This doesn't mean you have to strive in your prayers. You don't have to say alot of words. Just pray in faith! Knowing that because of who you are in Christ, your words are releasing breakthrough.
I know in my life the more I have believe this reality that my prayers are powerful the more I expect something to happen.
I love to release the healing power of God everywhere I go and God has been reminding me that I carry peoples breakthrough. I can be the answer to someones prayer today.
Just yesterday Kaylee and I were at Starbucks and it was like God was just brining the fishies our way.
We were sitting outside and a gentlemen was walking towards us with a huge limp.
I ask him what happened as he walked by and he said that he was hit by a drunk driver!
I thought to myself, "man God can heal this man right now, lets pray! "
So we prayed for him and he instantly felt alot better. He wasn't 100% but much better.
Then another guy came walking by with a brace on his arm. He had an accent but he said he had a small crack in his arm.
We prayed and you could feel the healing presence of God come over him.
He said he felt alot better and walked away!
Come on Jesus!
This is a huge testimony because I remember a time where I didn't believe that I could walk in that kind of power.
But the more I realize my identity in Christ the more I realize my prayers are powerful!
And so are yours!
So I challenge you to engage in some sort of prayer this week. Whether thats releasing healing over someone on the streets, interceding for family or friends, praying over your finances, whatever!
And if you have prayer request go ahead and post it below and we can join with you in prayer!
Last weekend was my Grandfathers funeral service. Many from his church told stories of his life.
It made me realize how much I didn’t really know him.
Turns out he was a pretty cool guy. He invented one of the first breathalizers used by the police department.
He was an expert witness called on many times in cases that had to do with drinking and driving.
One time they needed him to be at a case within two hours. He was a pilot with his own plane but there was no airport in that area. So they shut down the highway to allow him to land.
Crazy cool! My grandpa was bad ass!
Even though he didn’t spend much time with us grandkids it was great to see the man honored for who God created him to be.
To often we stumble over who someone isn’t instead of who they are.
I also had the honor of sharing his two favorite scriptures.
During the service I was challenged to reflect on this question:
How Do I Want To Be Remembered?
I like to do this every so often… I check up on the direction of my life and see if it lines up with what I truly want.
I took some time to think deeply about this and it turned out to be quite fruitful. I have more clarity on how I want to spend the precious time I have.
When your time on this earth has come to an end will you be filled with regret? Or satisfaction?
Wisdom is to take inventory now and make course corrections as needed.
So what is it? What do you want to be remembered for?
Answering this question to the best of your ability will help you align your goals, dreams, and desires.
As I reflected on this I realized that I want to be remembered as a friend of God. Someone that knew God intimately and showed it to everyone around him.
When we think about who we want to be remembered for it confronts our current lifestyle, daily choices and beliefs.
Realizing the way I want to be remembered caused me to focus on walking in the love of Christ. It has brought me back to the simplicity of being loved and loving others. I don’t want to be just another hypocritical Christian who claims to know God yet can’t even love his own wife.
And If I am rude to people all the time, judgemental, and distant, then I am way off track. I don’t care if I was the most successful person outwardly, if I don’t have love then it was all in vain! (1 Cor 13:2)
This is why I love questions. They challenge us. They cause us to grow and transform.
From this one question I feel like I have so much more clarity about what is truly important in my life. I am focusing on the simple things, my attitude towards my wife, spending more time with family, and coming up with creative ways to really make an impact on this world with the love of God!
When you take the time to answer I know your life flourish all the more.
Better to take a hard look now than be full of regret at the end of your life!
I would love to hear your answer below. So go ahead and post it now, don’t wait. Just take imperfect action now and write what comes to mind. Yes I know its vulnerable to write what you truly care about but its worth it!
I recently looked in the mirror and had this realization...
It occurred to me how much kinder I am to myself then I have been in times past. I no longer picked myself apart in the same way that I once did. Yes, I have walked through a long journey of self love and acceptance, but in all honesty, everyone has their "feeling kinda ugly days."
But this day was different.
I looked in the mirror and had a momentary flashback to my past relationship with myself and the mirror... I would wake up, and look at my face to examine myself for new pimples, lift my shirt up to make sure my stomach was flat enough. Though I was gorgeous, and honestly loved myself better than a lot of girls I knew at the time, I was still aware of the little "flaws" or imperfections.
At different points in my life, I have convinced myself that my nose was too big, my but Miss- shaped, my boobs too small, my thighs too large, my hands not feminine enough, and my tummy too chubby. I was my worst critic.
I remember in high school, I actually believed that the guy I would one day marry would not be accepting of my flaws either. I thought that I had to have the perfect body, whatever that's suppose to look like!
There are many different points, and tangents that I could go off on at this point in my story, but I am going to stick to one main one this time.
That is the fact that, Woman...
The men who are attracted to you are attracted to YOU.
Not you 10lbs skinnier,
You without a single pimple,
you with perfect hair and makeup,
you 2 pants sizes down,
the you who doesn't fart or burp or even take craps!
All this is so unbelievably fake and unrealistic.
Our culture has failed us in the inaccurate and false portrayal of covenant, marriage, and relationships on almost all levels.
Relationships are day to day, sickness and hardships, loss and trials, stress and layoffs, debt and family troubles.
Relationships are work and they cannot, and will not, ever succeed if we hold to the beliefs that the core foundation of them starts with our outward appearance!
The anarchy, or paradox is truly hilarious. We want someone to love us unconditionally but we are not even willing to give ourselves that same love we are so starved for.
So, back to my point.
My point is, ladies, that you really don't have to have it all together.
I remember on my honeymoon, when My husband saw all of me in my glory ;). The nakedness and vulnerability that I had anticipated, and dreaded at times, was right in front of me. No more hiding. No covering up any part of me that wasn't perfect. Every dot, wrinkle, and roll was all there to be seen.
I remember actually sitting and pointing out to my husband things that I had felt insecure or nervous about him seeing, his response is the thing I wrote this blog post to share.
He didn't shame me, or tell me "ya but it's not that big of a deal," he didn't say "you're right you really need to fix that, or tighten that up."
No, his response was, "I love that about you, you're beautiful. I think that's cute."
It blew me away. There I was, the moment of truth, facing my fears. All the thoughts in the background, thoughts of perfection that I had entertained for far too long, all dissipated as what he had said rung in my ears.
I write this to you, woman, future brides, wives, insecure teenagers, critical twenty year olds. I write this to you, perfectionist girl who never feels adequate, or like she will ever be enough.
The beauty of life, love, and marriage is that two people come together and choose to love and accept one another unconditionally. There are no qualifications of perfection on your relationship.
Stop telling yourself you need to change, or fix something, or have it all together. Your weakness, your imperfections, and your nakedness is what he loves most (or at least the right man will). So give yourself a break, take a moment and decide to let yourself be free. Today, you can change your relationship with yourself, and the mirror.
And one day, like me, you can look back and realize, that you think differently than you once did. You have stopped picking yourself apart, and you actually love what you see, who you see, and the person in the mirror staring back at you.
Four years ago my life was turned upside down. I decided to the biggest risk ever, up to that point in life. I left my business and life in Southern California to go to ministry school in Northern California. On my way up I remember answering the question, "what do I really want out of this?"
I answered, "to be comfortable in my own skin."
For me, this is when my journey of living authentically began. I was tired of being a surface dweller. Putting on the fake smile, holding my opinions back for the fear of being rejected. It was like parts of my soul were on lockdown. I just couldn't seem to "be myself" around people.
Through many different encounters with God, conversations with people who care, and hard honest evaluations of my life, I can confidently say that I am embracing a life of living authentically. Of course I struggle with it still. Its one of the greatest challenges of my life!
But my hope is that YOU would also chose to let your light shine! If your already on this path then I want to share my experiences to encourage you along your journey.
What's The Point Of Authentic Living?
I believe we all have a beautiful music within us. A glorious light given to us by The Creator Himself. We have been given the greatest gift ever, the very Spirit of God. We have the honor of releasing this beauty on a daily basis.
SO many of us die with our music still in us. We never truly expressed that THING inside. I for one lived way to much of my life hiding. Because of the fear of rejection and being known. Desiring acceptance of man over authenticity. But I have been set free. I am never going back. I am chosing honesty, openness, and congruence to who I am.
What Is Authenticity?
Ahh man I wish I could describe authenticity perfectly but I can't. I find it hard to capture in words. I recognize it when I see it. It's hard to explain but you can just tell when someone is operating from their core. From who they are. You can tell they aren't faking. I love that! I find this quality to be soo inspiring. Why? Because it takes soo much courage over and over again to be authentic.
There are so many definitions of authenticity but for me it has been a continual choice. Choosing vulnerability over hiddenness. Choosing honesty and truth, even when it hurts and no one in the room agrees. Its choosing to be congruent with my values and beliefs no matter who I am talking to. Its being real!
The Obstacles To Authentic Living
1. Fear of Rejection.
When we give into the fear of what people will think about us, we sacrifice our authenticity. We give up our voice. The sting of rejection is quite the powerful thing. Some naturally seek to avoid this kind of pain by putting a box over their light. They quite down a bit, they put up their "false self."
I lived like this for so long. I just wanted people to like me. I tried soo hard. I became what I thought, people thought, was cool. I gave up my true self for the praise of man. I became a hustler for acceptance. I was the "cool" guy. I got along with anybody and everybody. I wasn't operating out of a place of authenticity. I was faking hard!
At some point, we all must make a choice. A choice to show up and be real. A choice to be authentic or to hide. To say what we really think, or agree nicely to make sure we don't get rejected.
I for one am choosing to show up. Wherever I am at my goal is to simply be. Its not to gain the approval and acceptance of man. I am tired of spending so much energy trying to get something I already have.
I mean come on, our Father in heaven has accepted us in the beloved! When He is our main source of connection the sting of rejection no longer hurts as bad.
Its going to take some vulnerability and willingness to get hurt. Showing up in life takes intentionality, courage, and a whole lotta bathing in God's unconditional love. But its worth it! When we operate and live from an authentic place we just feel good.
2. Living according to the voice of shame.
Shame tells us we aren't good enough. It tells us that we are bad, unworthy, and unloveable. So when we make agreements with shame we create someone that we think, or the world tells us, is loveable, worthy, and acceptable.
Shame is the ultimate enemy of authenticity. For women its usually the old tape recording of not being beautiful enough. For men, not successful enough. Shame attacks our identity. It tells us that we need to be something or someone else in order to be loved and accepted. It tells us that our true self is not worthy.
I spent so much of my life listening to shame. I let it control my life. I remember a time in my life feeling like I just couldn't be honest and open in my relationship with God. I had all this underlying doubt and unbelief. But because of the voice of shame, I kept those feelings stuffed deep down inside. Why? Because good christians don't struggle with that kind of stuff of course! Or so I thought.
Then one night after a friend encouraged me to keep it real, I had a beautiful encounter with God. I was driving to church and I remember saying to God, "ok God you want me to be honest with you? I don't think your really that good. I don't think your actually going to provide for me. I just don't think you really love me that much." I began confessing all these things I didn't even know were in my heart. I felt so afraid, like He was going to punish me or something. Like I was about to get rebuked by a stern father. But no, I felt a wave of His love crash over me like never before. Then I felt Him inside, "See? Was that so bad? I've known it all along. I move closer to you in these times Son."
I cried like a baby! After this encounter my life was different. I simply felt more real. I wasn't try to fit in as much, I was just being me. I felt comfortable in my own skin. I look back and realize that this is what I truly desired four years ago. God is faithful! He restores our souls! He leads us on this journey of authenticity!
It is encounters like these that give me hope. Hope that I can truly live! I don't want to die with my music still in my comfortable little box. I would rather fail over and over again, get hurt, feel the pain, if that means I get abundant life. If thats the price it takes to live fully present, fully alive, then I am all in!
Your Turn. Be brave and share your experiences with authenticity! Whats your story with? How would you describe it? What are your challenges with showing up? I truly can't wait to hear more! Comment below.
As the pastor continued to share what was on his heart, I could feel the pull of what he was saying. I sat there envisioning myself alone in my room, hands raised, getting so filled up with God’s love. I said to myself, I could be more intentional about making time to wait upon the lord so that I too could live from the overflow.
It was a simple message that Sunday, one that I am sure I had heard many times before, but there was power on what he said, and my heart stirred to follow his words.
The next morning, I did exactly that. With my worship music playing, bible laid open, and pen in hand to journal what I felt the Lord saying... I was ready to truly respond to what I had heard the pastor say. But something funny happened... I couldn't seem to sit still! It really didn’t make sense to me. So, I did what only made sense and tried all the things I knew to do to connect with the Lord. I read the book of psalms, I sang along with the worship music playing, I sat, I stood, I raised my hands, I journaled, I thought over the scriptures I was reading.
And yes, all of that was good. All of these are all wonderful christian disciplines that grow us spiritually. They feed our souls with truth and the love of God. But all these things just weren’t working like they “should.” There was a disconnect between what I was doing, and what was going on in my heart.
Really, I didn’t want to be inside at all. I had been in a car just a few days before for 12 hours. I had done more sitting than I would like to do in a week already, I had been inside more than was at all comfortable, and to top it off, the sun was shining gloriously outside. The truth was, I had a ton of things on my mind that I was excited to think about and get done.
Granted, I know there are times when it is appropriate to continue to quiet our hearts before the Lord and push away all the clutter of the day and thoughts racing through our heads, this just wasn’t what I decided to do.
I figured since it just wasn’t working inside, instead of getting frustrated with myself (maybe I was 10% already there!) I would go for a walk outside.
Strolling down the road, feeling the warm sunshine kiss my skin, I sighed. Oh how I loved being outdoors. As I walked, I had a dialogue with the Lord, telling him that I felt distracted, or was wondering about this or that, what He had for us next, and that’s when I heard Him... Oh how I love to hear Him!
There is truly nothing sweeter in this world then to hear His whisper and sense Him walking next to you!
This is what He said, “Kaylee, connecting with me doesn’t mean you have to sit in your bedroom and pray for an hour. I love to talk to you about what is on your heart. Living from the overflow (like the pastor was talking about) simply looks like you slowing down enough to hear me throughout the day.”
My mind wandered as I remembered the night before...
I was in a hurry to get dinner done and had to grab an onion out of the car. I rushed to the car and just before I got there I heard the Lord whisper, “just slow down a little.” Not in a harsh “you’re doing bad” way, but in the most tender and loving “I want you to have peace, and getting dinner done five minutes faster isn’t worth you losing that peace” kind of way. I felt so loved in that moment. I exhaled as the business and need to rush began to subside. As I walked back toward the house, directly in my path was a hummingbird fluttering there a few feet in front of me.
Hummingbirds have been a constant sign to me from the Lord and whenever I see them, I am reminded of His goodness!
So, back to my story of my walk... I realized all over again, as I continued to walk down the neighborhood, that He loves to speak to us in so many different ways.
“Overflow,” is from a position in our hearts and not necessarily what we do.
It’s acknowledging him. It’s being aware of Him throughout the day.
It’s doing daily tasks just a little bit slower so that we don’t stress ourselves out, and become so focused on what is in front of us that we fail to realize He is right there with us.
It’s taking a short walk, or driving to work, and hearing him whisper to our hearts that He cares.
It’s making dinner for our families, or serving at our jobs with joy and thanksgiving in our hearts that we get to serve, as we feel overwhelmed by the love of God in our hearts.
It’s having PEACE IN THE STORM
REST IN THE MIDST OF CHAOS
OUR THOUGHTS ON HIM and
CHOOSING TO BELIEVE THE BEST about others and our circumstances.
I hope this blesses you at it has me!
Live Well,Kaylee Luckey